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[personal profile] hellzabeth
I don't think I've ever cried this hard before in my entire life.

First time I've ever cried while writing a post.

Dear Elizabeth

I am writing to advise you that based on the information you have provided regarding the grades you have achieved in your A2, that we would not be able to confirm your place with us and your offer, if you accepted it, would become unsuccessful.

The decision was made because you would be two grades short.

With this information, you may wish to decline your place with us.

It would be helpful if you could acknowledge receipt of this email so that I know you have received it.

Thanks
Eileen
Oxford Brookes


You promised you bastards. You said I could get in with BCC, and then changed it to BBC a month ago. I can't. I can't do any better than this.

No.

No I just can't do this.

This is it, this is my limit.

I can't handle everyone looking at me with such pride. Every picture in my house of my parents smiling makes me want to die. I can't make you proud. I tried, and still it wasn't good enough.

How do I tell them

oh god how am I ever going to tell them

all my customers, all my regulars were congratulating me too. my boss expects to see me leave in september. i won't be leaving now

i can't handle another year trapped in this god forsaken town where everyone who sees me thinks they know me. I just want to start on my own.

let me out of here

let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out

nena hates me so i can't call her, mum's left her phone here, i can't face my dad with this, grandma won't pick up, and hell if i'll ever let my sister see me cry like this

and now my nose is bleeding because i'm crying too hard fine whatever i'll bleed out and faint for a while fine by fucking me

i'm never going to get out of here

i'm going to be trapped in this fucking room looking out at that fucking field with those fucking trees and those fucking BOYS ON THEIR FUCKING SKATEBOARDS I WISH THEY'D ALL JUST FALL OFF AND CRACK THEIR HEADS OPEN SO I CAN STAMP ON THEIR TINY LITTLE BRAINS

THEY'D PROBABLY GET IN TO UNIVERSITY EVEN IF THEIR CEREBRUM WAS THE SIZE OF A MOTHER FUCKING WALNUT

i hate it i hate it i hate what this is doing to me

i'm crying even more because i know i'm being a petulant child who had their trip to disneyland canceled because the car broke down. i sound like a 14 year old. i'm even fucking comfort eating, what kind of pathetic loser sits in their room all day pretending to be someone else on the internet or writing stories that nobody gives two fucks about in the long run

who are you even fucking kidding self, nobody's reading this. they turned back when they got to your wall of crazy up there. just one of the many whiny entitled 19 year olds from a middle class background with so much good in their life on livejournal, crying like a little bitch

fuck it

so i guess i'm not going to oxford after all because the fucking cuntwipes changed their minds
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hellzabeth

April 2011

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