hellzabeth | Family Ties [Part 23]

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Family Ties [Part 23]

Title: Family Ties

Characters (in this chapter): France, Scotland, China, America, Canada, Mexico, England, Wales, Ireland.

Rating: 15

Warnings: ~~French swears that I researched off the internet. >>~~ Fixed thanks to

lai_choi_san!

Summary: Uh, I need to be banned from the kink meme or monsters like this happen? Essentially, Scotland leaves the UK, which gives Northern Ireland an excuse to up and out as well, which leaves England and Wales all alone. Oh yeah, and this somehow leads to World War Three.

The world was dark. The floor was cold. His hands and feet were bound, and this situation was much more familiar than it had any right to be.

His mouth was free, though his tongue felt swollen. He tried for a groan.

"Francis? Ye awake?"

He groaned again, something like a confirmation.

"Geez, it's taken ye long enough."

"Dark..." he mumbled, head pounding in a dull rhythm.

"It might help if you opened your eyes."

Ah. Blue eyes blinked open, taking in the scene. He was on his side, in a dimly lit concrete room, tied up. There was one steel door, and one high window. It appeared to be either daybreak or nightfall. Scotland was similarly tied up, though he had managed to push himself up to lean against the wall. An angry red mark circled his neck, lingering unusually long. The red head caught him looking and shrugged.

"They couldn't knock me out. Broke my neck and cut my throat instead, the bastards."

A similar scar on France's neck ached in sympathy. "What's going on?"

Scotland shifted uncomfortably against his restraints. "Well, they pumped ye full of sedative and ye've been out for about a day or so longer than me." he explained. "It's some time in the evening now, but I don't know what day it is. Some random soldier kicked some food into the room earlier and untied me, but watched closely when I was eating, had a gun. I think I freaked him out." How someone could still grin in a situation like this, France didn't know. "Cracked my neck back into place, he went all green."

"Well at least you're enjoying yourself." France grumbled, slowly struggling into a sitting position.

Scotland snorted. "Not the first time I've been locked up. Artie's much less inclined tae feed prisoners too."

"Angleterre is one thing, Russia is quite another."

The heavy metal door clanged three times as someone knocked. The two Nations shot each other a look, before watching the door swing open. France's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, and Scotland's jaw dropped open.

"Nimen hao." greeted China. He wasn't smiling. If anything, he looked politely bored. France took a few moments to find the words.

"Yao, why on earth are you here?"

China tilted his head slightly. "Is there a particular reason why I shouldn't be, aru? Russia and I have peaceful relations."

"No, but-"

"He means what are ye doing here." Scotland frowned, leaning forward off the wall. "Planning to get information out of us? We ain't got nothin' to tell ye."

"Oh no, there's no need for that. We've had you bugged for quite some time now." China smiled patiently. "I've just come to ask whether you're willing to co-operate with the NWO still, or if you insist on rebelling."

"Depends on if you're going to keep those puppet governments around." France said lowly, twisting his hands in his restraints. The rope burned his writs.

"That is non-negotiable, aru."

Scotland spat. "Ye can take yer puppet government and stick it up yer arse." He glared poisonously, green eyes wild. China's eyes narrowed in return.

"You've always been too much like your brother for me to like you, aru." He turned to France. "And you?"

The Frenchman appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Va te faire enculer." he concluded.

"He means 'fuck you'." Translated Scotland with a smirk. China sighed wearily.

"What a disappointment, aru." he shifted his hand out of his long sleaves, waving two large, muscled soldiers in. "We did not want to do this, but if you insist..." Dark hair swayed as he shook his head and turned on his heel. The soldiers cut the ropes on France and Scotland's feet, hefting them up by the arm and dragging them down the hallway. Scotland not-so accidentally stomped on his 'bodyguard's' foot as he swayed from the head-rush.

"Sorry lad." he shot him a feral grin. Francis sighed internally. For a man used to being a captive, he wasn't very good at it.

"Where are you taking us?" France asked, short of a demand. China didn't even glance back.

"To fix you, aru."

-----

"Gaaaaah!" America grabbed the sides of his head in frustration. "What the hell Russia, can't you just pick a spot to attack and leave it there?!"

"He's not exactly trying to make this easy for us, Al." Canada said softly, grooming Kumajiro. His southern brother jabbed a finger at the map accusingly, poking the battle site and front lines in Finland.

"We have big trouble here, the Middle East has gone to shit, all of England's spies have been somehow found and chucked out of Scotland and France, Japan's funds have suddenly dipped for reasons unknown, and THE COFFEE MACHINE IS STILL BROKEN!" America yelled, very nearly stomping his foot. Wales removed his hands from his ears and wondered at how Alfred had managed to inherit everything bad from the British settlers; from Ireland's shouting pitch to Scotland's tendency to deep fry everything considered edible and some things not.

"On the up side, Egypt's made his mind up." María added, unaffected by the volume of Alfred's voice. "So now we have him to thank for backing up Israel so we could sort out up north."

"Yes, but Afghanistan's got pressure on her to pick a side from all her neighbours." England chimed in. "Pakistan and India are financially supporting us, but the rest of the Middle East are with the NWO or at least supporting them. Maya says she doesn't like the way they're... looming either."

"Australia's ready and willing to back India and those folks up should Russia try anything." America assured, poking at the southern hemisphere. "New Zealand is probably in by default."

Ireland finished an extremely animated conversation in Irish with her Boss on the phone, snapping it shut. "I am getting sick and tired of this information blocking thing Russia's so fond of. My reception is crap." she grumbled.

Wales rose from his chair, tapping Scandinavia pointedly. "Back to the original issue. How many are we sending to help Finland?"

"Since my forces," England started, then caught Wales' raised eyebrow. "sorry, our forces are closer to the battle site right now, it would be wise to mobilise them first, with some others as backup."

Canada raised his hand. "My men are used to snow and blizzards. I'll match your numbers." he smiled, and England nodded back.

"The hero doesn't do back up!" Alfred puffed out his chest. "I'll keep my boys in the desert; they're used to it and all. Maybe send a few stealth squads with you though. You know, for protection."

"Uhuh." Ireland said in a disbelieving tone, giving America an unidentifiable look. He completely missed any significance in it and stared blankly back. "Well, can't trust Artie to do this alone, so I suppose my pilots can fly you in as well as fight them from the sky. I heard he has fighter jets. New ones." Rather than worried by this news, Aine seemed rather more excited, grinning and drumming her fingers together in what Wales assumed was a Mr Burns impression.

England subtly shifted away from his sister. "Righto, we're good to go. Call that information in to the Bosses."

"Say it." America suddenly insisted. England gave him a confused look, which then morphed into annoyance.

"No, that is so utterly stereotypical that I refuse to do it. It's also out of date."

America pouted. "Iggy, we're personified countries, we have to be a little stereotypical sometimes!" he poked him. "Go oooooon~! I'll let you feed me scones!"

Ireland, Mexico and Canada all gave him a look like he was suddenly suicidal and needed to be restrained. Wales quirked an eyebrow, but failed to care. Nothing wrong with scones.

England, however, had gone a bit pink-cheeked. He hunched his shoulders sulkily. "Tally ho."

"Hmm? I can't hear you! I won't eat them unless you-"

"Tally ho then chaps, let's give those bastards a proper thrashing, wot wot!" England almost yelled, straight backed and at attention. Ireland smothered giggles behind her hand. Mexico didn't bother.

Alfred was grinning. "That's the spirit!"

Notes:
- Old English prisons weren't nice. Or humane. I imagine it was a while before Scotland was allowed out of one.
- "A similar scar on France's neck": The French Revolution. People, I am not explaining this one. Just note that while Scotland heals fast, that does not mean the other Nations are not able to recover from supposedly lethal things. Such as, say, decapitation by guillotine.
- ~~Ni hao, if I remember correctly, is "hello" in Mandarin. /obvious~~ Since it's plural, it's actually Nimen hao. Fixed thanks to

tuulensisko!
- "Too much like your brother": For more information see Opium Wars. As for being like his brother, he means in appearance, especially the eyes. They have the same colour eyes, and is it just me, or does Asia place a lot of importance on eyes?
- Scotland's translation of "Va te faire enculer" is now correct, thanks to

lai_choi_san!
- More on Japan later. Watch this space.

Part 24

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"They couldn't knock me out. Broke my neck and cut my throat instead, the bastards."

I have this horriblye ~~funny~~ mental image of someone clubbing in Scotland's head over and over again and him just alternately yelling at them to stop it and that they fail at life over and over again. ._.;

England, however, had gone a bit pink-cheeked. He hunched his shoulders sulkily. "Tally ho."

BRB LAUGHING MY EVER LOVING ASS OFF. OH GOD, THANK YOU ALFRED FOR THAT WONDERFUL IDEA.

I love the "family" together, it's so much fun. But now they have to go save France and Scotland like... now. :/ I'm shocked France didn't foresee this, apparently he doesn't remember history very well. And I'm so glad to see Alfred actually using his brain and being all -FRUSTRATED RAAAAGE SEND OUT THE FIGHTER PILOTS- because it's such a breath of fresh air in comparison to his giggly idiot self.

Cannot wait for Japan. :3

That's... pretty much what happened. They pumped him full of sedatives, he took a ten minute nap, they bashed him on the back of the head, he called them "fuckin' cowards", so they cut his throat and broke his neck in frustration and found that... worked.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING THIS ENTIRE TIME TO GET HIM TO SAY THAT. IN FACT, IT HAS BEEN MY SECRET AGENDA ALL THIS TIME. START WW3 TO GET ENGLAND TO SAY "TALLY HO".

France has a tendency to do that. Anyone else remember Napoleon? XD They can't save them yet, I'm not done ~~torturing~~ playing with them! America does have a brain and does use it... when he's not overloaded with coffee, I think. XD So this is a good thing?

You know how much I loved you before? I love you even more now, aru! /slaps self/ Especially the 'too much like your brother for me to like you' ...Why do you split my loyalties between the two sides? Do you enjoy watching me flail? Japan's siding will determine mine... >_>

And I don't even want to know about the French Revolution, okay? Ew, just... ew. Did his head drag itself back to his body or something? Or should we call him Nearly Headless France?

America is win, Scotland is win, and England is forever win for that last few lines. (And you of course, you're win too bb)

~~I fail to see the point of commenting when we're chatting via Skype, Nena. >>~~

I split your loyalties because I like to watch you squirm, dear. I'm a closeted, horrible, sadistic bitch and you know it. <3

Eh, sometimes they stitched the necks back on to the bodies before burying them or tossing them into graves. That, or you can give yourself the mental image of France's body growing back from his head.

They're all some amount of win, yes. XD

~~It's to make you feel loved, duh.~~

I'd rather not have that image thanks... You know gore is a squick >> And I'm making you say Tally Ho tomorrow, wether you like it or not.

I refuse.

/sigh/

No more Imperialist fun for you then... Shame <3

N-NO!

COME BAAAAAAAACK.

Oh? Was there something you wanted~?

s-sob please don't cut me off I'll do anything.

~~This is the wrong way round.~~

Oh good~ you're under my power now, aru!

~~And I'm loving it.~~

Nearly Headless France

....... crap I need to find my ass and laugh it off again. Because that image.

France's body growing back from his head.

That's rather horrific because now I'm thinking about France's big head running around with these tiny little limbs attached... kind of like an octopus...

D8

....

Dude, what are you smoking?? I couldn't come up with that image a few too many pints on, let alone sober! I'm now truly afraid... France's decapitated head just became bb Alien in my mind o_O

Glad to know my mental images have the power to scar other people's mental images.

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That's a true talent right there ;)

The real question now is the rate at which his penis grows back.

Because for some reason I could see that growing back completely before the rest of his body was done.

... I'm going to go away now...

No no, what I want to know is how in the first place....? So thats what that miniature guillotine was for...

...

*GRABS HER PENCILS AND SKETCHPAD FFFFFF*

Nothing will ever be alright again.

Gives a whole new meaning to tentacle rape...

Oh hey I also meant to ask.

Is Mexico going to do anything but hang out as the personification? Cause I haven't seen Mexico's forces doing anything. :x

Certainly is. She'll be her badass self in the next chapter. >] There's a reason she's not running off to Finland herself.

IS RUSSIA INVADING NORTH AMERICA?!

*horrified*

Oh hey, now that I think about it, no one's invaded North America since... The Revolutionary War? I wonder what the hell would happen...

I DON'T KNOW YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

OH AWESOME. _{Russia's invading!}

I'll give you ten bucks if you somehow work in America saying "RRARRGH MOTHERLAND!" in reference to Russia at some point in time.

Fffff yes. Yes.

Oh dear...is this where I have to close my eyes and pretend you're not going to pick on poor Alaska. I mean I know Russia's probably been pissed about that since the gold and oil but really it's his own fault.

As soon as I read the part about the head moving around on it's own I couldn't help but think that back to his body would be the last place he'd go. He's right next to the ground: perfect vantage point to look up ladies skirts.

Loved this fill. Now I have plotbunnies about Francis being put onto a guillotine though...

France is nothing if not an opportunist. 8D

Glad you like it! Ooo~ there needs to be more French Revolution!France around, yesssss~.

I feel so impolite saying this. The right sentence is "Va te faire enculer !". "enculi" doesn't exist. Here's a useful link in case you want to use French words for the next chapters :
http://community.livejournal.com/hetalia_fr/51412.html

Thanks very much for the correction and the link! I need help with other languages. orz.

Pffft...pffft....you are evil for making me start to feel bad for France/Scotland. But just so you know I'm not quite there yet...though I'm sure a few rounds of torture will help.

I don't know how you keep track of where everyone is and what everyone is doing and what side everyone is on. I'd need a big Risk board or something.

Awesome as always!

*polishes her devil horns* I said I'd win you over eventually. Also, it gets worse.

I have a map, a word document, and several sheets of paper. >>

Thank you <3!!

...Ok, now I really do feel for France and Scotland. ouuuch

England, however, had gone a bit pink-cheeked. He hunched his shoulders sulkily. "Tally ho."

Hahaha... That was great~

Anyways~ Loved this chapter!

Yeeeeaaaaah... it's going to get worse before it gets better.

I loved that line, and I'm glad everyone else seems to love it too.

I AM SO EXCITED ---

AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!

- "A similar scar on France's neck": The French Revolution. People, I am not explaining this one. Just note that while Scotland heals fast, that does not mean the other Nations are not able to recover from supposedly lethal things. Such as, say, decapitation by guillotine.

8D Yay, that's totally my headcanon too. I mean the bit about France's scar (although I did think of that more as a symbolic scar or something...), not the bit about Scotland. Even though I have nothing against it, since it's rather hilarious how he scares the guards.

Reminds me that I still kinda want to write that fic idea I had about Marianne sending Francis to the guillotine with his king... (lol, I hadn't thought about it but it would actually be amusing if he got his head chopped off and then just went all HEADLESS HORSEMAN and went to pick up his head and go off to crash out at England's (just to bleed on his furniture if nothing else, I imagine) or something until the worst was over.)

- Ni hao, if I remember correctly, is "hello" in Mandarin. /obvious

Not that it's needed but I can confirm that. Yes it is.
.... Well, except for the thing that he's greeting two people, so you should have a plural there: "Nimen hao". Also, "ni" is like one of the handful of words that get a plural in Chinese (aka, personal pronouns), and of course it has to be in the most common phrase people usually know in the language, just to make us surely fail more.

If you need moar Chinese you can ask me! |D;; And I'll see what I can do with my... impressive one and a half years of studying it. Uhm... Well, maybe someone else would be a better translator for the job.
Random fact: If you want to be polite, you can say it "Nin hao"! :Db "Nin" is like the same as "ni" (meaning "you") but more formal. And the plural of that is "Ninmen hao".

... *tapes her own mouth before she gets even more excited and starts to digress again*

Damn, lai_choi_san made it before me. *was going to link that post at hetalia_fr too*
Oh yeah, I said this about Chinese already but if you do need more help with languages, I can help you with some.

Btw, don't you love it how the French insults sound like complete and complex sentences? "Go have yourself fucked in the ass." Compare that with the English ones...
... Well, it does have a nice effect but I still wonder how they manage to shout all those syllables in a fight or something. (Then again, it's the French, they can say a twenty word sentence and make it sound like a single word. This is nothing. "vatfairncler !!! >/")

"sorry, our forces are closer to the battle sight right now

Uh-oh, a typo! *waves a flag*
*sniped*

Oh yeah... Who's Maya? India, I'm guessing?

Aaanyway, not a lot of comments on this chapter, sorry. (Not that I haven't managed to tl;dr you to death ANYWAY (never, ever tell me that my comments are nice or this is what you get. I'LL NEVER SHUT UP.) but...) Basically, could say some stuff about it being a nice chapter and all (and it was, of course it's a transition chapter but it's not like that's a bad thing) but nothing too smart to say so I'm not trying. ;;;

OH YEAH now that I finally remember, did you watch Shaun of the Dead? :D

Oh and here's a map update. Notice how I just totally started guessing just to test and see. xD; So yeah, feel free to say if I guessed wrong.

/fail fail FAIL

I'll go and change the Chinese in a minute. ^^;; I kind of had to get this off a friend that speaks more Cantonese than Mandarin.

The French always were a little more eloquent. XD;; Though I'd say we like to keep them short and sweet in English. "Piss off" is faster to say as you're kicking someone in the head.

*fixes typo, orz*

Maya, as explained in earlier chapters, is indeed India. I need to come up with a name for Afghanistan etc >>;;

I still haven't watched it! I have like a whole list of movies I need to watch.

Yay map update! Trust me when I say this thing gets a lot of use. ~~For planning future invasions and attacks mwahaha.~~

Ashamed because I was procrastinating And now I don't know what to say but- I can't wait........ Why?! I hate you! But I also Love you orz
ASJAS Oh Lol England!

Japan >:/..... I'll go draw Fem!Japan.

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Family Ties [Part 23]

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Oh shit.

Dear god what have I done

Re: Dear god what have I done

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I AM SO HIDEOUSLY LATE AT REPLYING TO THIS.

Late to the comment party