Urgh.

[hellzabeth]

I know I've not been posting much but fics recently. That's mostly because I'm more active on plurk now. My page isn't privated so you can stalk me if you like, it's mostly just rambling about things.

Family Ties is coming to an end and I'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends. It'll probably be done by chapter 100 or somewhere in that area. Monster Mash is kind of flourishing in my head, plot points popping up everywhere. For a halloween!horror!AU it's giving me a lot more enjoyment that I thought it would.

Work sucked today. I mean, it was busy as usual, but then Cam, Imi and Yaz came in. And instantly the awkward started. I'm not sure if they knew whether I was still working there or not. I really hope not, because if they just came in to make me feel awful... that would be kind of nothing like what I thought I knew of them. I thought we ended on okay terms. Yaz and I just kind of drifted apart. Imi went to Hull and it was difficult to keep in contact so we fell out of touch. Cam... we've been on a rocky road for a while before hand but after exams we just didn't really talk.

I tried to apologise.... I dunno what for, missing his birthday, ending it with a whimper and not a bang like he maybe would have wanted... but then I had customers and had to get back behind the till. When they came and bought their stuff, they didn't say a word, but as they walked out of the door, they burst into laughter.

And I burst into tears.

Maybe I'm just hormonal. Or something like that. But they were laughing all around the shop too and went dead silent after I talked to them, and then laughed after they left... it just felt like they were laughing at me, in my pathetic little job all alone without them.

But it's probably just my paranoia...

...

I hope.

Comments

[katamanda.livejournal.com]

/hugs

D:

[nenamoo.livejournal.com]

Honey, Cameron is an arse.

It's nothing to do with you and it's certainly not your fault. He knows perfectly well you work there. He thinks he can treat people as he does and get away with it on the excuse of illness/family troubles and whatever, which is a disgusting way to behave.

It's not a reflection on you, and you're much better than him. /cuddles and loves

[imogen 'gin' west (from livejournal.com)]

I read this journal and was really distressed to see that Liz was so upset about this. All of us would really like to chat about this over coffee, and I tried to arrange seeing her for coffee at Costa or something to chat. But I'm not going to discuss this over LJ.

Liz, you know my number, or you can Facebook me or email me. Honestly, I'd just like to have a chat (it doesn't have to be scary or serious you know!) in Costa this weekend or something.

However, Emily, once I saw your comment... Wow. Just wow. You think that depression - excepted widely by the scientific community (and every single reasonable person) as a serious mental illness - is an excuse?

You also have no right to assume what I (or Cam or Yaz for that matter) were thinking/doing in that shop. I had perfectly legitimate reasons to be in that shop, none of which I will discuss with you.

What's disgusting here is your ignorance.

[nenamoo.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you think I care what you think.

[imogen 'gin' west (from livejournal.com)]

I'm pretty sure sarcasm doesn't cover up those 3rd degree burns, honey.

Lol.

Liz, the offer for coffee still stands, if you'd like. I'm here all this weekend and will come back down from London next weekend if you're busy now. I guess its up to you, but do let me know. =]

[nemoded.livejournal.com]

I'd like to just say, Though I'm not sure I'd want a full on friendship like we had Liz, if you're happy to meet up for coffee, I'll be there. No hard feelings. I think we're all a bit too old for that now.

And Emily, If you wish to slate me behind my back, it's probably best not to do it in a place where I can see it. I'm sorry you were hurt by my actions, but I apologised for that best I could while we were still at college. I can't do any more than that. So I'm sorry you feel that way, but what can I do?

[thera7.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

I don't know you or your social circle IRL, so I really have no say here, but I'm sure they didn't mean to make you feel bad! Like you said, maybe they weren't aware you were still there and just felt awkward.
If it's any comfort, you seem a wonderful, smart person from what I've picked up from this journal, and no job is pathetic, especially at the moment. Hell, I can't even get one!

What's been wierd for me is that contact with my old friends is fine, but the making of new ones is just not happening here. I'm convinced that people mock me after I walk out of a room...

[aislingthegreat.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm not sure what the situation is, but it probably wasn't as bad as you think it is. idk, I get paranoid about people laughing at me as well and it's usually just my imagination, so maybe it's the same?

If they were laughing at you, it was probably more out of awkwardness than bitchiness. I haven't kept in touch with my old classmates since I went to uni and whenever I run into them it's really awkward and I have NO idea what to say.:(

I'm not even sure what the point of my comment is anymore, but...feel better soon?:D

[tuulensisko.livejournal.com]

Bawww. *hugs*