[Fanfic] The Great Debate
Mar. 5th, 2010 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hellzabethTitle: The Great Debate
Characters: The WDF (Ireland, England, America, Mexico, Wales and Canada)
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, arguments over English Language.
Summary: Remember in part 20 of Family Ties where Ireland mentioned that her changing out of her jumper/sweater started off another fight over English? I got bored.
Aine shrugged out of her jumper, slightly pink cheeked. “Did you have to turn up the heat in here so much, Matty?” she huffed. The Canadian flushed.
“María was getting cold…” he mumbled.
“Toss your sweater over here, I’ll put it in the closet.” America called, on his way out of the room with a few other coats. England paused in where he was looking over the world maps.
“It’s called a jumper, Alfred.” He intoned. The other blonde frowned.
“Nuh-uh, a jumper’s something you wear over a dress.” He indicated by his shoulders.
Giant British eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “No, that’s a shrug.”
“You speak English all weird, Iggy.”
“I invented the bloody language you twat!” Arthur raged. The two glared at each other, and Darren massaged his temple as he felt the old argument start up.
“Herb.” The Englishman glared.
“’erb.” Insisted the American.
“Trousers.”
“Pants.”
“To-mar-toh.”
“To-may-doh.”
“ZED!”
“ZEE!”
“OH THAT DOES IT!” England leapt for him, snarling. America was ready, throwing his elder to the side and jumping on top of him to start the wrestling match.
“BRING IT ON OLD MAN!”
“STOP BUTCHERING THE LANGUAGE I GAVE YOU, BRAT!”
“YOU SPELL IT STUPID ANYWAY! COLOR DOESN’T NEED A U!”
“DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE-”
Darren, Aine, and Matthew watched the age-old battle recommence with varying degrees of worry. The red head looked about ready to break out the popcorn, where as Matt looked like he was going to dive in and break it up, but was too scared to try. Mexico walked into the room and paused to stare at the fight.
“What’s with them?” she asked Ireland over the shouting.
“They’re fighting over their language again.”
“YOU COULDN’T SPELL ORGANISE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!”
“OH-AR-GEE-AY-EN-EYE-ZEE-EE!”
“WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”
“Oh.” María blinked. She offered the others what she’d been cooking up for dinner. “Fajita?”
Ireland’s eyes lit up, while Canada paled. “Ooh, ta muchly.”
“H-how many chilies did you put in there this time?” he stared at the food like it was going to leap up and bite him. Or combust.
“Only eight, why?”
Finally, Wales stepped between the two, tearing a hissing and spitting Arthur off Alfred, who was shouting something about “adding consonants on the end of words to cheat at scrabble.”
“How about we put this to a vote.” He suggested, looking between the two. Arthur pouted slightly, split lip or not.
“A vote.” He intoned, like it was a stupid suggestion. However, America jumped up, beaming gleefully.
“Yeah, let’s do this the democratic way! I love democracy!” he grinned. Darren nodded.
“Alright, everyone who pronounces this letter-” he drew a Z in the air. “as ‘zed’, raise your hand.”
Ireland, England, Wales and Canada all put their hands up. Mexico shrugged, eating a fajita and watching the slowly horrified look creep onto Alfred’s face.
“Trousers, all in favor say ‘aye’.”
Again, England, Ireland and Wales all put up their hands, and eventually Canada, with some hesitation. A triumphant smirk was beginning to form on England’s face.
“Colour; spelt with a U?”
Everyone but America nodded. He spluttered.
“That’s cheating!” he yelped, pointing at the British isles siblings. “You’re cheating!”
“I thought you liked democracy, Alfred.” Arthur grinned evilly. The United States flailed about.
“Shut up! My vote counts for more because I have more people than all of you combined!”
“Moron’s got a point.” Mexico pointed out, and America turned to her hopefully.
“Yeah, back me up, Mexico!”
“If I do, can I have Texas?”
“Hahaha, no.”
“Well, I don’t even like speaking English, it’s an ugly, stupid language anyway.” She huffed, flicking a long braid over her shoulder. All the Anglophiles stared at her.
“You speak Spanish different from Spain, though.” Matthew pointed out.
“And you speak French different than France. Either way, we’re pissing off our parent Nations.”
“Can’t call Iggy a parent, he’s too-” America gestured for the word while England glared at him. “Repressed. Bad role model.” Arthur squawked indignantly. Alfred ignored him. “Anyway, maybe we should just accept that I speak American and Iggy speaks English. Every language has an origin, I’m just developing my own.” He grinned. The others stared.
“… you’re still an ungrateful brat that is making a Frankenstein monster out of my language.” England grumbled.
“You act like your language wasn’t a mish mash of others in the first place, Artie.” Ireland prodded. England flushed, but his sister continued. "I mean, most of your language is either Germanic-" England frowned. "-or Latinate-" A twitch. "-or even French."
"Alright, enough! Enough of this!" England yelled, smacking his hand down on the maps. "We're going to the Middle East tonight, we all need to prepare. Ireland, you stay here and look after your brother." he stomped to the door. "I'm going to go pack."
Waiting until England had gone out of ear shot, Ireland and America gave each other a high-five.
"Did you plan that?" Wales asked, only half-expecting an answer.
"I needed a little humor in this afternoon." Ireland admitted with a shrug, making her way to the door as well. "Well, have fun without me you guys."
Notes:
- "to-mah-doh": to the English ear, the American pronounciations of "t"s in the middle of words seem to transform into "d"s. So, to use an overused example: Harry Potter, filtered through American sounds like "hah-ree paah-der" to us.We find it adorable.
- I don't know if Canadians use "trouser". I just went with the fact there seems to be a prevalence of British English.
- Fajitas (fa-hee-tas) are fegging delicious.
- English is in fact made out of every language that has ever been used by the invaders of our land. This means it's part Celtic (very small amount these day) Scandinavian (lots of this), French (which is why we call cow "beef", not "cowmeat") lots of Germanic stuff (from the Saxon settlement. Most of our short words are from this.) and Latinate (from... Rome, duh. All the long words seem to be from this.)
Characters: The WDF (Ireland, England, America, Mexico, Wales and Canada)
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, arguments over English Language.
Summary: Remember in part 20 of Family Ties where Ireland mentioned that her changing out of her jumper/sweater started off another fight over English? I got bored.
Aine shrugged out of her jumper, slightly pink cheeked. “Did you have to turn up the heat in here so much, Matty?” she huffed. The Canadian flushed.
“María was getting cold…” he mumbled.
“Toss your sweater over here, I’ll put it in the closet.” America called, on his way out of the room with a few other coats. England paused in where he was looking over the world maps.
“It’s called a jumper, Alfred.” He intoned. The other blonde frowned.
“Nuh-uh, a jumper’s something you wear over a dress.” He indicated by his shoulders.
Giant British eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “No, that’s a shrug.”
“You speak English all weird, Iggy.”
“I invented the bloody language you twat!” Arthur raged. The two glared at each other, and Darren massaged his temple as he felt the old argument start up.
“Herb.” The Englishman glared.
“’erb.” Insisted the American.
“Trousers.”
“Pants.”
“To-mar-toh.”
“To-may-doh.”
“ZED!”
“ZEE!”
“OH THAT DOES IT!” England leapt for him, snarling. America was ready, throwing his elder to the side and jumping on top of him to start the wrestling match.
“BRING IT ON OLD MAN!”
“STOP BUTCHERING THE LANGUAGE I GAVE YOU, BRAT!”
“YOU SPELL IT STUPID ANYWAY! COLOR DOESN’T NEED A U!”
“DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE-”
Darren, Aine, and Matthew watched the age-old battle recommence with varying degrees of worry. The red head looked about ready to break out the popcorn, where as Matt looked like he was going to dive in and break it up, but was too scared to try. Mexico walked into the room and paused to stare at the fight.
“What’s with them?” she asked Ireland over the shouting.
“They’re fighting over their language again.”
“YOU COULDN’T SPELL ORGANISE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!”
“OH-AR-GEE-AY-EN-EYE-ZEE-EE!”
“WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”
“Oh.” María blinked. She offered the others what she’d been cooking up for dinner. “Fajita?”
Ireland’s eyes lit up, while Canada paled. “Ooh, ta muchly.”
“H-how many chilies did you put in there this time?” he stared at the food like it was going to leap up and bite him. Or combust.
“Only eight, why?”
Finally, Wales stepped between the two, tearing a hissing and spitting Arthur off Alfred, who was shouting something about “adding consonants on the end of words to cheat at scrabble.”
“How about we put this to a vote.” He suggested, looking between the two. Arthur pouted slightly, split lip or not.
“A vote.” He intoned, like it was a stupid suggestion. However, America jumped up, beaming gleefully.
“Yeah, let’s do this the democratic way! I love democracy!” he grinned. Darren nodded.
“Alright, everyone who pronounces this letter-” he drew a Z in the air. “as ‘zed’, raise your hand.”
Ireland, England, Wales and Canada all put their hands up. Mexico shrugged, eating a fajita and watching the slowly horrified look creep onto Alfred’s face.
“Trousers, all in favor say ‘aye’.”
Again, England, Ireland and Wales all put up their hands, and eventually Canada, with some hesitation. A triumphant smirk was beginning to form on England’s face.
“Colour; spelt with a U?”
Everyone but America nodded. He spluttered.
“That’s cheating!” he yelped, pointing at the British isles siblings. “You’re cheating!”
“I thought you liked democracy, Alfred.” Arthur grinned evilly. The United States flailed about.
“Shut up! My vote counts for more because I have more people than all of you combined!”
“Moron’s got a point.” Mexico pointed out, and America turned to her hopefully.
“Yeah, back me up, Mexico!”
“If I do, can I have Texas?”
“Hahaha, no.”
“Well, I don’t even like speaking English, it’s an ugly, stupid language anyway.” She huffed, flicking a long braid over her shoulder. All the Anglophiles stared at her.
“You speak Spanish different from Spain, though.” Matthew pointed out.
“And you speak French different than France. Either way, we’re pissing off our parent Nations.”
“Can’t call Iggy a parent, he’s too-” America gestured for the word while England glared at him. “Repressed. Bad role model.” Arthur squawked indignantly. Alfred ignored him. “Anyway, maybe we should just accept that I speak American and Iggy speaks English. Every language has an origin, I’m just developing my own.” He grinned. The others stared.
“… you’re still an ungrateful brat that is making a Frankenstein monster out of my language.” England grumbled.
“You act like your language wasn’t a mish mash of others in the first place, Artie.” Ireland prodded. England flushed, but his sister continued. "I mean, most of your language is either Germanic-" England frowned. "-or Latinate-" A twitch. "-or even French."
"Alright, enough! Enough of this!" England yelled, smacking his hand down on the maps. "We're going to the Middle East tonight, we all need to prepare. Ireland, you stay here and look after your brother." he stomped to the door. "I'm going to go pack."
Waiting until England had gone out of ear shot, Ireland and America gave each other a high-five.
"Did you plan that?" Wales asked, only half-expecting an answer.
"I needed a little humor in this afternoon." Ireland admitted with a shrug, making her way to the door as well. "Well, have fun without me you guys."
Notes:
- "to-mah-doh": to the English ear, the American pronounciations of "t"s in the middle of words seem to transform into "d"s. So, to use an overused example: Harry Potter, filtered through American sounds like "hah-ree paah-der" to us.
- I don't know if Canadians use "trouser". I just went with the fact there seems to be a prevalence of British English.
- Fajitas (fa-hee-tas) are fegging delicious.
- English is in fact made out of every language that has ever been used by the invaders of our land. This means it's part Celtic (very small amount these day) Scandinavian (lots of this), French (which is why we call cow "beef", not "cowmeat") lots of Germanic stuff (from the Saxon settlement. Most of our short words are from this.) and Latinate (from... Rome, duh. All the long words seem to be from this.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 03:08 pm (UTC)Lovely little fic, and I imagine England and America get in these sorts of arguments all the time, to the vast annoyance of their friends and relations. You outlined this one wonderfully, complete with America pulling the DEMOCRACY card.
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From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 08:22 pm (UTC)Ahahaha... American and English. The "languages" are starting to split more and more in pronunciation, aren't they? But, on some level due to the internet, the spellings are starting to become... more recognizable? to each other again. I wouldn't be surprised if eventually there's a standardized internet English in some form one day.
I... never noticed that we pronounce "t"s in the middle of our words as "d"s. But now that you mention it... holy crap. D: Also I can't imagine what you would think of my accent, it's even more noticeable by American standards because I'm from the Southeast US, which means all of my vowels are elongated, everything drawls, and there's copious use of the sound "ah." I blame the Scottish. >:(
I have to admit, I find British dead sexy. :3
AND YES, ENGLISH IS LIKE THE WTF LANGUAGE OF ALL WTF LANGUAGES. I took a minor in Spanish in College, as well as German and Latin in middle school, and French in high school. English makes no fucking sense. Whoever thought up the rules for the English language were: A) not thinking B) drunk out of their minds C) mentally challenged D) lazy. It's like the bastard child of Latin and German that went and slept around with every single other nationality in the area.
And now Americans are starting to combine Spanish into it as well. Ever heard of Spanglish? All of our Spanish-speaking immigrants are now butchering their own language in the same way we butcher ours.
I guess something can be said, however, for a language that has such loose grammar rules that when we don't have a proper word or phrase for something, we just steal someone else's and then proceed to both spell and pronounce it so horribly that it is utterly unrecognizable from what it originally was.
And now I shall stop ranting.
Woah your ranting is very interesting.
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From:Sorry about this n_ñU
From:No problem~ <3
From:Re: No problem~ <3
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From:Re: No problem~ <3
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Date: 2010-03-05 10:14 pm (UTC)The english teachers from the Language Institute here can't agree in almost.. nothing, actually. Mostly because most of them are british, the others are either canadian(the canadian french professeurs they tend to bicker with the french french professeurs), gringos or mexican.
And yes Spain's Spanish is so much different from the Mexican one.. And even Chilean, Argentinian, Cuban, Colombian, etc. are very different... x_x
That fight is something I would love to see.
Fajitas ♥ are very tasty.
Democracy isn't always the best weapon. D;
no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 06:07 pm (UTC)God I love this verse.
This also reminds me of another fic I've read on this subject where England groused about America's obsession with the letter Z and America groused back about England's love affair with the letter U.