[Fanfic] The Great Debate
Mar. 5th, 2010 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hellzabethTitle: The Great Debate
Characters: The WDF (Ireland, England, America, Mexico, Wales and Canada)
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, arguments over English Language.
Summary: Remember in part 20 of Family Ties where Ireland mentioned that her changing out of her jumper/sweater started off another fight over English? I got bored.
Aine shrugged out of her jumper, slightly pink cheeked. “Did you have to turn up the heat in here so much, Matty?” she huffed. The Canadian flushed.
“María was getting cold…” he mumbled.
“Toss your sweater over here, I’ll put it in the closet.” America called, on his way out of the room with a few other coats. England paused in where he was looking over the world maps.
“It’s called a jumper, Alfred.” He intoned. The other blonde frowned.
“Nuh-uh, a jumper’s something you wear over a dress.” He indicated by his shoulders.
Giant British eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “No, that’s a shrug.”
“You speak English all weird, Iggy.”
“I invented the bloody language you twat!” Arthur raged. The two glared at each other, and Darren massaged his temple as he felt the old argument start up.
“Herb.” The Englishman glared.
“’erb.” Insisted the American.
“Trousers.”
“Pants.”
“To-mar-toh.”
“To-may-doh.”
“ZED!”
“ZEE!”
“OH THAT DOES IT!” England leapt for him, snarling. America was ready, throwing his elder to the side and jumping on top of him to start the wrestling match.
“BRING IT ON OLD MAN!”
“STOP BUTCHERING THE LANGUAGE I GAVE YOU, BRAT!”
“YOU SPELL IT STUPID ANYWAY! COLOR DOESN’T NEED A U!”
“DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE-”
Darren, Aine, and Matthew watched the age-old battle recommence with varying degrees of worry. The red head looked about ready to break out the popcorn, where as Matt looked like he was going to dive in and break it up, but was too scared to try. Mexico walked into the room and paused to stare at the fight.
“What’s with them?” she asked Ireland over the shouting.
“They’re fighting over their language again.”
“YOU COULDN’T SPELL ORGANISE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!”
“OH-AR-GEE-AY-EN-EYE-ZEE-EE!”
“WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”
“Oh.” María blinked. She offered the others what she’d been cooking up for dinner. “Fajita?”
Ireland’s eyes lit up, while Canada paled. “Ooh, ta muchly.”
“H-how many chilies did you put in there this time?” he stared at the food like it was going to leap up and bite him. Or combust.
“Only eight, why?”
Finally, Wales stepped between the two, tearing a hissing and spitting Arthur off Alfred, who was shouting something about “adding consonants on the end of words to cheat at scrabble.”
“How about we put this to a vote.” He suggested, looking between the two. Arthur pouted slightly, split lip or not.
“A vote.” He intoned, like it was a stupid suggestion. However, America jumped up, beaming gleefully.
“Yeah, let’s do this the democratic way! I love democracy!” he grinned. Darren nodded.
“Alright, everyone who pronounces this letter-” he drew a Z in the air. “as ‘zed’, raise your hand.”
Ireland, England, Wales and Canada all put their hands up. Mexico shrugged, eating a fajita and watching the slowly horrified look creep onto Alfred’s face.
“Trousers, all in favor say ‘aye’.”
Again, England, Ireland and Wales all put up their hands, and eventually Canada, with some hesitation. A triumphant smirk was beginning to form on England’s face.
“Colour; spelt with a U?”
Everyone but America nodded. He spluttered.
“That’s cheating!” he yelped, pointing at the British isles siblings. “You’re cheating!”
“I thought you liked democracy, Alfred.” Arthur grinned evilly. The United States flailed about.
“Shut up! My vote counts for more because I have more people than all of you combined!”
“Moron’s got a point.” Mexico pointed out, and America turned to her hopefully.
“Yeah, back me up, Mexico!”
“If I do, can I have Texas?”
“Hahaha, no.”
“Well, I don’t even like speaking English, it’s an ugly, stupid language anyway.” She huffed, flicking a long braid over her shoulder. All the Anglophiles stared at her.
“You speak Spanish different from Spain, though.” Matthew pointed out.
“And you speak French different than France. Either way, we’re pissing off our parent Nations.”
“Can’t call Iggy a parent, he’s too-” America gestured for the word while England glared at him. “Repressed. Bad role model.” Arthur squawked indignantly. Alfred ignored him. “Anyway, maybe we should just accept that I speak American and Iggy speaks English. Every language has an origin, I’m just developing my own.” He grinned. The others stared.
“… you’re still an ungrateful brat that is making a Frankenstein monster out of my language.” England grumbled.
“You act like your language wasn’t a mish mash of others in the first place, Artie.” Ireland prodded. England flushed, but his sister continued. "I mean, most of your language is either Germanic-" England frowned. "-or Latinate-" A twitch. "-or even French."
"Alright, enough! Enough of this!" England yelled, smacking his hand down on the maps. "We're going to the Middle East tonight, we all need to prepare. Ireland, you stay here and look after your brother." he stomped to the door. "I'm going to go pack."
Waiting until England had gone out of ear shot, Ireland and America gave each other a high-five.
"Did you plan that?" Wales asked, only half-expecting an answer.
"I needed a little humor in this afternoon." Ireland admitted with a shrug, making her way to the door as well. "Well, have fun without me you guys."
Notes:
- "to-mah-doh": to the English ear, the American pronounciations of "t"s in the middle of words seem to transform into "d"s. So, to use an overused example: Harry Potter, filtered through American sounds like "hah-ree paah-der" to us.We find it adorable.
- I don't know if Canadians use "trouser". I just went with the fact there seems to be a prevalence of British English.
- Fajitas (fa-hee-tas) are fegging delicious.
- English is in fact made out of every language that has ever been used by the invaders of our land. This means it's part Celtic (very small amount these day) Scandinavian (lots of this), French (which is why we call cow "beef", not "cowmeat") lots of Germanic stuff (from the Saxon settlement. Most of our short words are from this.) and Latinate (from... Rome, duh. All the long words seem to be from this.)
Characters: The WDF (Ireland, England, America, Mexico, Wales and Canada)
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, arguments over English Language.
Summary: Remember in part 20 of Family Ties where Ireland mentioned that her changing out of her jumper/sweater started off another fight over English? I got bored.
Aine shrugged out of her jumper, slightly pink cheeked. “Did you have to turn up the heat in here so much, Matty?” she huffed. The Canadian flushed.
“María was getting cold…” he mumbled.
“Toss your sweater over here, I’ll put it in the closet.” America called, on his way out of the room with a few other coats. England paused in where he was looking over the world maps.
“It’s called a jumper, Alfred.” He intoned. The other blonde frowned.
“Nuh-uh, a jumper’s something you wear over a dress.” He indicated by his shoulders.
Giant British eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “No, that’s a shrug.”
“You speak English all weird, Iggy.”
“I invented the bloody language you twat!” Arthur raged. The two glared at each other, and Darren massaged his temple as he felt the old argument start up.
“Herb.” The Englishman glared.
“’erb.” Insisted the American.
“Trousers.”
“Pants.”
“To-mar-toh.”
“To-may-doh.”
“ZED!”
“ZEE!”
“OH THAT DOES IT!” England leapt for him, snarling. America was ready, throwing his elder to the side and jumping on top of him to start the wrestling match.
“BRING IT ON OLD MAN!”
“STOP BUTCHERING THE LANGUAGE I GAVE YOU, BRAT!”
“YOU SPELL IT STUPID ANYWAY! COLOR DOESN’T NEED A U!”
“DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE-”
Darren, Aine, and Matthew watched the age-old battle recommence with varying degrees of worry. The red head looked about ready to break out the popcorn, where as Matt looked like he was going to dive in and break it up, but was too scared to try. Mexico walked into the room and paused to stare at the fight.
“What’s with them?” she asked Ireland over the shouting.
“They’re fighting over their language again.”
“YOU COULDN’T SPELL ORGANISE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!”
“OH-AR-GEE-AY-EN-EYE-ZEE-EE!”
“WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”
“Oh.” María blinked. She offered the others what she’d been cooking up for dinner. “Fajita?”
Ireland’s eyes lit up, while Canada paled. “Ooh, ta muchly.”
“H-how many chilies did you put in there this time?” he stared at the food like it was going to leap up and bite him. Or combust.
“Only eight, why?”
Finally, Wales stepped between the two, tearing a hissing and spitting Arthur off Alfred, who was shouting something about “adding consonants on the end of words to cheat at scrabble.”
“How about we put this to a vote.” He suggested, looking between the two. Arthur pouted slightly, split lip or not.
“A vote.” He intoned, like it was a stupid suggestion. However, America jumped up, beaming gleefully.
“Yeah, let’s do this the democratic way! I love democracy!” he grinned. Darren nodded.
“Alright, everyone who pronounces this letter-” he drew a Z in the air. “as ‘zed’, raise your hand.”
Ireland, England, Wales and Canada all put their hands up. Mexico shrugged, eating a fajita and watching the slowly horrified look creep onto Alfred’s face.
“Trousers, all in favor say ‘aye’.”
Again, England, Ireland and Wales all put up their hands, and eventually Canada, with some hesitation. A triumphant smirk was beginning to form on England’s face.
“Colour; spelt with a U?”
Everyone but America nodded. He spluttered.
“That’s cheating!” he yelped, pointing at the British isles siblings. “You’re cheating!”
“I thought you liked democracy, Alfred.” Arthur grinned evilly. The United States flailed about.
“Shut up! My vote counts for more because I have more people than all of you combined!”
“Moron’s got a point.” Mexico pointed out, and America turned to her hopefully.
“Yeah, back me up, Mexico!”
“If I do, can I have Texas?”
“Hahaha, no.”
“Well, I don’t even like speaking English, it’s an ugly, stupid language anyway.” She huffed, flicking a long braid over her shoulder. All the Anglophiles stared at her.
“You speak Spanish different from Spain, though.” Matthew pointed out.
“And you speak French different than France. Either way, we’re pissing off our parent Nations.”
“Can’t call Iggy a parent, he’s too-” America gestured for the word while England glared at him. “Repressed. Bad role model.” Arthur squawked indignantly. Alfred ignored him. “Anyway, maybe we should just accept that I speak American and Iggy speaks English. Every language has an origin, I’m just developing my own.” He grinned. The others stared.
“… you’re still an ungrateful brat that is making a Frankenstein monster out of my language.” England grumbled.
“You act like your language wasn’t a mish mash of others in the first place, Artie.” Ireland prodded. England flushed, but his sister continued. "I mean, most of your language is either Germanic-" England frowned. "-or Latinate-" A twitch. "-or even French."
"Alright, enough! Enough of this!" England yelled, smacking his hand down on the maps. "We're going to the Middle East tonight, we all need to prepare. Ireland, you stay here and look after your brother." he stomped to the door. "I'm going to go pack."
Waiting until England had gone out of ear shot, Ireland and America gave each other a high-five.
"Did you plan that?" Wales asked, only half-expecting an answer.
"I needed a little humor in this afternoon." Ireland admitted with a shrug, making her way to the door as well. "Well, have fun without me you guys."
Notes:
- "to-mah-doh": to the English ear, the American pronounciations of "t"s in the middle of words seem to transform into "d"s. So, to use an overused example: Harry Potter, filtered through American sounds like "hah-ree paah-der" to us.
- I don't know if Canadians use "trouser". I just went with the fact there seems to be a prevalence of British English.
- Fajitas (fa-hee-tas) are fegging delicious.
- English is in fact made out of every language that has ever been used by the invaders of our land. This means it's part Celtic (very small amount these day) Scandinavian (lots of this), French (which is why we call cow "beef", not "cowmeat") lots of Germanic stuff (from the Saxon settlement. Most of our short words are from this.) and Latinate (from... Rome, duh. All the long words seem to be from this.)
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 09:53 pm (UTC)Though I hear bad things about this place called Taco Bell?My god, I can't understand some really drawly accents. They really are splitting, if we can't understand each other. Hmm, the idea of internet-speech is an interesting one. It would probably be Americanised though, since the vast population of the English-speaking intarwebs are... American. /sob
I discovered this when I went over to America when I was 12. The 5th Harry Potter book had just come out (I feel old), and everyone was asking me to say "Haar-ree Pah-der" in my British Accent, which is when I noticed the "d" they added in Potter. (I went to Pennsylvania, fyi. Summer camp orz) Southern Accents are kinda sexy
as long as I can understand themand I bet the Scots ARE to blame. XD*feels all exotic* All this talk about accents makes me want to do a voice post. >> Thing is I have a really stereotypical Estuary accent and we Brits hate being seen as that, wot wot.
MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT. I took Spanish for GCSE (I... dunno the equivilant in America, but it's like the qualifications you do at the end of school?) and of course French, since it's compulsory (gdi). I stayed as far away from German as physically possible
which was stupid because now I find the language really interesting. LOL YES WE NEED LANGUAGE-TANS oh god that would mean a very over-populated UK, which has 60 different dialects (HOW THE FUCK).I've heard about Spanglish. I think it sounds like England or America and Spain or Mexico got drunk one night and had a baby that neither of them wants to admit to.
Oh no, keep ranting, the linguistics geek in me craves it!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 10:09 pm (UTC)Those aren't even real tacos >:/
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 10:14 pm (UTC)Sorry about this n_ñU
Date: 2010-03-05 10:47 pm (UTC)Tacos are a folded tortilla with meat on it. However, a tacobell's tacos are a badly fried and prefabricated tortilla* with meat in it, which would be FRIED tacos, but a fried taco would be what we call 'flautas, tostadas and gorditas'(fried tortillas with meat and vegetables) and are usually eaten with the meat's broth, they also are most usually home-made, must of the people I know don't like tacobell because we, myself included, are very proud of our food, Tacos especially.
So... Don't mess with tacos >:/
*tortillas have to be.. well just made. That's why we have 'tortillerias' that make tortillas everyday the whole day so we can have recently made and tasty tortillas ♥ most of the time you have to wait until your kilo is ready because there are just 2 and sometimes 3 workers ¬¬
Do I even make sense? I'm eating sooo... yeah.
No problem~ <3
Date: 2010-03-05 11:04 pm (UTC)I am increasingly glad we do not have those in England.
Re: No problem~ <3
Date: 2010-03-05 11:19 pm (UTC)Lol. She would probably go all Mayan-Warrior on America's ass.
:/
Ffff
Date: 2010-03-05 11:39 pm (UTC)"W-what the hell Al-"
"Hide me!" yelped America, leaping behind Canada's sofa.
"What have you done now?"
The ground rumbled ominously. The sky overhead, previously sunny, darkened. America let out a very unmanly shriek of terror.
"She's gonna kill me!"
"Who is?!"
"AMÉRICAAAAA!!" came the outraged yell, like cracking thunder, and suddenly Canada knew fear.
"You tried to feed her Taco Bell, didn't you."
"It was meant to be a peace offering!"
And then María was in the doorway, hair threaded with feathers and face murderous and- holy maple was that an axe?!
"HOW DARE YOU PERVERT MY FOOD LIKE THAT!" she roared, and Alfred squeaked and hid behind Matthew, who immediately felt the rage of every mother in Mexico turned on him in a single beam of concentrated hate.
"Oh maple." he squeaked.
And that is how 2012 is REALLY going to go down.
...
*goes to bed*
Re: Ffff
Date: 2010-03-05 11:47 pm (UTC)Poor little Matth, young and completely free of guilt Matthew... Hell he is the youngest yet the tallest.
"HOW DARE YOU PERVERT MY FOOD LIKE THAT!" Oh Alfred, what have you done?
Re: Ffff
Date: 2010-03-06 12:26 am (UTC)Ahahahaha. 2012 reference.
Oh my Alfred. You can run but you can't hide.
Re: Ffff
Date: 2010-03-06 06:25 am (UTC)Re: No problem~ <3
Date: 2010-03-06 05:46 am (UTC)Also, I'm an Okie even though I don't live there now, so we have the following "Taco" chains:
-Taco Bell
-Taco Bueno
-Taco Cabana
-Taco Mayo
All of these are in the same area, and all of these are actually Tex-mex fast food, even if we call it "Mexican". But Oklahoma has a decent-size Mexican population, so there are authentic Mexican restaurants, too. (They are not fast-food, and they are not restaurant chains.)
I'll admit I like Taco Bell's cheesy potatoes. Damn.no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 10:25 pm (UTC)Ah, my accent isn't THAT thick. And yes, it is Scotland's fault, all his crazy people settled here and then pretended to be of English origin, but it's all a lie. (Okay, maybe not. More like the English, Scottish, and Irish settlers all just shrugged their shoulders and were like "hello, my white friend!" Then they put aside their differences to make sure their slaves didn't run away. Yeaaaaahhhhh....)
I'd love to hear voice postings of all the Hetalia fans. I think it would be very very interesting. :V Hey, I'd totally do it if there was like a script written out for everyone to read, so we didn't have to make up shit on the spot or say anything personal.
AHAHAHA dialacts. I think all languages do that, though. Spanish is spoken differently in South America, Central America, Mexico, Spain, all his little islands, etc., and there are differences within each of those areas in addition to the large splits.
Spanglish is Mexico and America's fault. I don't think England or Spain had anything to do with it. They got drunk, had sex, woke up, and were speaking spanglish. In their shock and horror, which wasn't just related to the fact that they were now speaking spanglish but more of the fact that America just slept with Mexico, they vowed never to do it again. Texas would never be the same.
ALL HAIL LINGUISTIC GEEKS.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 10:51 pm (UTC)Americanunhealthy. XD Ahaha I was eating Chinese while writing that angsty fic with Nena. I appreciated the irony. (Amusingly enough, every British person knows exactly what an American means by "corn chips", but it rarely seems to be the other way around (outside of this fandom). I guess that's Americaniszation for you.)Phew, good. XD Oh lol, the south and slaves, I hear that's a bit infamous there. >>;; *skuttles back to wikipedia so she can find out*
Maybe I should put up a little post on the hetalia comm? It'd be a fun experiment.
Yeah, but it's one thing to have different dialects on other sides of the Atlantic from eachother, and quite another to have the chaps from the next village over being able to identify you from how you say "scones". (psst. If you say it "sc-owns" instead of "scoh-ns", you're from Essex/Sussex. And therefore a prick with too much money and no sense. *says it like that orz*)
ffffffff DON'T MAKE ME WRITE IT. BECAUSE I MIGHT. GOOD GOD.
*builds a shrine*
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 11:41 pm (UTC)And I dare you to write something about Mexico and America sleeping together. Dare you.
If you have anything to ask about southern american history, feel free. Although I can't guarantee how accurate it is. Did you know that some people here still re-enact battles from the civil war? And the revolutionary war, too (but that's more mid-atlantic, up north). It's crazy, I tell you. If America ever went through a country dissolution (God forbid), I swear it would split right along the Mason Dixon line first, with everything south of that and reaching west to the Mississippi river becoming it's own country over night (and we'd take Louisiana too, just for good measure). And there would be no serious political turmoil over it. It would just be second nature. Kind of like "Oh hai guys, we're our own country again. Someone dig out the confederate flag. Time to bicker over where to put the new capital. And I swear to God, Georgia, if you say that Atlanta should be it just because you have CNN and one of the largest airports in the world, we are going to smack a bitch. No Florida, you cannot be your own country, Disneyworld will not support your economy. Oh and this time let's keep the civil rights stuff around, seems like a good idea."
And then Texas would be its own country again. Probably try to annex Arkansas and Oklahoma in the process. And then Mexico would take back Arizona and New Mexico, and try to do shit to California, but California would get pissed and become its own country as well, taking Nevada with it. Oregon and Washington would either make their own country, or Canada would annex them along with Montana and Idaho. And then... NO NO NO STOP IT STOP RAMBLING GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *SLAPS SELF*
I'm going to stop typing now.
... I swear.
Damnit.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 11:53 pm (UTC)I would post, only I have now run into the problem of finding an audio-hosting service that operates like Youtube.
Because I have a sound recorder but not a video program.Don't the states kind of operate like... mini-Nations anyway? From what I understand of the American political system, every state has a governor... or something, that is elected (who has Schwarzenegger again?) and everything runs from that? Or am I getting this hideously wrong?
Ffff, all the state-tans getting level ups to Nation-tans and suddenly Texas is no longer a pair of glasses but a person. XD It's hard to imagine Canada annexing anyone, but Alaska would probably be his again. Florida being it's own country fffff it probably would run purely on tourism. The east cost would probably have to join together because when I look at a map some of those states are TINY.
Though I can imagine Mexico seizing the opportunity to go GLASSES GET!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 12:07 am (UTC)Wasn't Alaska Russia's?
And if we are going for IRL facts, I doubt Mexico would be after Texas since Mexico barely remember Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and upper Cali where mexican territory. Unless they are 12- and are reading that in school, after that you just kind of forget it.
Though Mexico as nation-tan would probably get them out of spite xP.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 12:23 am (UTC)Yush, all of the states work like mini-nations except for federal laws (which are the most important). States deal with local stuff like schools, police force, fire department, hospitals, small businesses, building regulations, etc. But the federal government has a LOT of power, these days.
Most states don't have enough industry in them individually for them to be successful independent nations on their own (except for maybe California - it already has one of the largest economies in the country. Schwarzenegger is its governor).
Also, it is my headcannon that Texas is a state-tan, somewhere. It's just a running joke between Texas and America about the name of his glasses. Also, Texas would have a major "HELL NO" moment in response to Mexico going grabby hands at it.
IDK, there are still a lot of Spanish speaking people in Arizona and New Mexico.
ALSO... I need to go fill some random drabbles or something tonight. I seem to be in a rambling mood.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 06:44 am (UTC)Hahahaaaa, California. Largest economy of the US, accounts for apparently 13% of the USA's GDP according to Wiki circa 2008, and apparently 8th largest economy in the world- yeah, what- and yet our budget. Oh man, we are so screwed. At least... $20 billion deficit for the fiscal year (and I've seen higher numbers around), and argh. State and legislature muddle around. And the UCs like Davis and Berkeley and LA protest cuts in the education budget and siiiiiigh. We're not going to be getting anywhere fast.
If California was a state-tan it'd be at the very least bilingual. It'd be a very good idea to learn Spanish here, especially if you want to get a job nowadays. |D;;
no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 06:22 am (UTC)Hahaha. Maybe Texas would, I don't know. Texas and Oklahoma are so alike (in some ways) and yet so argumentative that I have no idea whether that would work out great or end up being terrible. And if they ever had a big ol' knock-down drag-out fight, it'd probably be called the "Red River _______".
There is already the Red River Shootout. (Wikipedia tells me this is the "Third Best" university football rivalry in the nation? I can believe that. OU's students get out of school on the Friday before the big game.) And there is the Red River Bridge War. LMAO, not really a war, but still funny to read about.