hellzabeth: (COME ON ENGLAAAAAAND)
[personal profile] hellzabeth
Me: Come on guys.
Sister: COME OOOOOOOON
Mum: Is it wrong to pray?
Me and sister: *staring* no.

---

Sister: WHERE WAS THAT PASS TO?!
Me: SOMEONE BACK HIM UP THERE!
Mum: THIS IS NOT KEEPY-UPPY LADS!
*realisation in unison that none of us usually care or know about football*

---

Commentator: ... not a good touch...
Me: BAD TOUCH! 8D
Family: *weird look*

---

Me: Wait! *runs out of the room*
Family: *stare at each other*
Me: *returns with a beer*
Mum: ... since when do you like beer?
Me: Inside every Englishman is a football hooligan that needs a can of Carlsburg.

---

Defoe: *taking the corner*
Me and sister: WHO ARE YA, WHO ARE YA, WHO ARE YA?!
Mun: lol

---

Me: *typing this*
Mum: Oh! OH!
Me: *looks up*
Defoe: *SCOOOOOOOOOORES*
Everyone: *leaps up* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!
Sister: *runs outside* YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! YES YES YES YESYESYESYES!
Me: *runs around the room screaming incoherently* DEFOE YOU BEAUTY.

---

Slovenia Goalie: *TRIES TO SAVE*
Us: Aww...
Goalie: *fumbles!*
Us: OH!
Goalie: *grabs ball*
Us: awww....
Commentator: Almost did a Green there.
Us: lol.

---

Me and mum: *look at the points table*
Mum: Hm, we're at top of the league if we keep this score up.
Me: And we'll kick America out too! That'll teach the brats. /grumble channeling England.

---

Half time! I'll post this now and update as we go.

---

Family have left for singing lessons, I'll call them if England score again. It always takes me a moment to realise they switch goals at half time-

WTF WHY DID THEY BOOK JOHNSON?! HE DIDN'T DO SHIT!

---

YEEEEEEEESSSNNNO.

WHAT THE FUCK REF.

NO.

THAT WAS TOTALLY A GOAL YOU SON OF A WHORE

I THOUGHT GERMANS WERE EFFICIENT DAMN IT. LIES. LIIIIIIIES.

---

Commentator: hands up who wants to see England play in red more often...
Me: *HANDS*

---

Slovenia: *nearly score*
Commentator: ... watching England play is a great way to cure constipation.
Me: tmi, but... yeah. orz

---

Roney: *misses an open goal*
Me: SJIDSUKGHUHKDIUAGHSY WHAAAAAAAAAT?!? SON OF A WHORE.

---

I think I'm in love with James. Our goalie, I mean.

Lol, they're singing Rule Britannia. Sorry South Africa, I think you're being claimed back for the Empire.

---

SLOVENIA IF YOU INJURE DEFOE I SWEAR TO GOD.

Rooney's off because he's being a twat.

---

God I am so SO nervous. STOP GETTING FREE KICKS SLOVENIA. Last 5 minutes.... aaaaaahhhhh.

---

One minute... hold it for one more minute...

---

Three extra minutes.

DO NOT LET THEM DO IT LADS, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT!

---

Commentator1: we'll forget the first two games of South Africa...
Commentator2: what games?
Commentator1: haha, exactly. The World Cup starts here.

Me: fuck yeah.

---

Whistle: *blows*
Me: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS YES YES YES YES YES!

And America are going through as well! Slovenia and Algeria are going out.

YES!

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hellzabeth

July 2020

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