Family Ties [Part 65]
Jul. 26th, 2010 01:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hellzabethTitle: Family Ties
Characters (in this chapter): England, Wales, various fae and a sheep.
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, fae deciding that fuck grammar laws, they don't need them.
Summary: Uh, I need to be banned from the kink meme or monsters like this happen? Essentially, Scotland leaves the UK, which gives Northern Ireland an excuse to up and out as well, which leaves England and Wales all alone. Oh yeah, and this somehow leads to World War Three.
It was raining. That was to be expected; they were in Scotland. Wales was considerably less grumpy about the weather than England was, but this was also to be expected, since it rained more on Wales' land than it did in any other part of the British Isles. By this point complaining had become a redundant pastime.
The people of Glasgow were more than a little bemused when the two brothers walked through the suburbs to find Scotland's city flat. For starters, they still had one sheep that was insistently following Darren everywhere, though the Nation himself had gotten rather attached and named it "Gwen", to Arthur's dismay. Secondly, they were still in full military uniform, so this plus the sheep only added to the weird image. While there were grumbles that they were once again being occupied by another sodding military force, nothing more was said on the matter. And lastly, they were both trying to read a large, overcomplicated map of the city. And the sheep was chewing the corners.
Trust Scotland to have a city with a one way system more confusing than London. They should have just taken the Clockwork Orange.
"Jim's house can't be far from here, I recognise the road signs." Wales assured, wondering if England's eyebrows would one day get tangled in the middle and never stop frowning with such intensity.
"Every time you say that we go down the wrong back alley and nearly get mugged, and I am not being saved by the sheep again." grumbled England in reply, tilting his head to try and make sense of the cobweb of streets.
"Aw, come on, I thought Gwen was great, weren't you?" the elder brother cooed to the animal, scratching it under the chin with a goofy smile that only showed up whenever he was around this particular kind of fluffy animal.
"She shat on their merch and they got distracted so we legged it." Dryly, Arthur gave Darren a very flat stare. Darren whistled innocently, still petting the sheep with his hand.
Half an hour later, they determined that the house they'd passed twice without noticing it was James'. Or rather, the house Darren had noticed twice but Arthur had insisted was not James's house. It was only on the third circuit that the elder of the two noticed the twang of magic as he went past. Ah, forget-me spells. So that's how Scotland avoided bills.
"Well, looks like I'll have to go inside." Wales concluded, petting the sheep and soothing it so it lay down next to England's feet at the front door. The shorter Nation bristled.
"Why can't you stay with the bloody sheep!"
"Artie, you do remember the last time you tried to walk into Jim's house when he wasn't there, right?"
The smell of sizzling flesh and a lot of swearing came to mind.
England threw his hands up in the air. "Fine! You go in the sodding cursed place! I'll stay out here with the ruddy sheep!" with a loud huffing sound, he sat down on the steps of Scotland's front porch, folding his arms in a sulk. "I never wanted to go in anyway."
Sometimes it was all so obvious that Artie was the youngest of them. Wales mused with a suppressed grin.
Getting in to Scotland's house was very easy. The lock on his door was old and could be jimmied open with the right application of force, a fact Wales knew from having to drag the bastard home from the pub one too many times. Dealing with the liberal application of both booby traps and spells, however, was not.
Don't step on the third, dusty tile. If something moves in the mirrors that's not you, don't look at it. If something thuds upstairs, don't go up there for the next four minutes and twenty four seconds. A long list of things needed to survive Scotland's house. If you were England you wouldn't even get past the front door. Wales was not England, but he still had to be careful. The magic hummed on the walls almost audibly. All this for one little terraced house in the city?
"Jim?" Wales called. He knew he wasn't in, but it wouldn't hurt to try. "Alright then, Jim's fae? No, wait, Seelie?"
A little red light appeared at the top of the stairs. Followed by several more, some holding tiny cloths and feather dusters. Oh, so that's why the house was so clean when Scotland was allergic to housework.
"Have you seen Jim?"
A collective tinkle, a shaking heads.
"Any idea where he'd be right now so we can find him?"
The tinkling again, not unlike bells but in fact tiny voices. Cold cold cold he is with the cold one despite the broken spell he tries to save his lover, they replied as one, cacophony and harmony at the same time. Will you bring him back Cymru
"That's the plan." he nodded.
He made sure not to pull back when they abruptly flew way too close to his face for comfort. Do not allow him to be harmed any more Cymru, they hissed at him, the Sidhe of the Winter court send word of Eire's youngling his corruption will not be stood for much longer
"I know, she's gone to get him." Wales assured, though calming down the Seelie was harder than it sounded, the wild creatures that they were. "And I'm going to collect Jim, alright?"
With Albion
"Yes, with him too."
They seemed to find this answer satisfactory, as they scattered back to whatever they were doing before he had arrived. Wales breathed a sigh of relief, edging back out the door to find England sitting on the steps with a very annoyed expression.
"What?" Wales asked defensively.
"You were in there four hours." England grumbled, standing and stretching to make his back crack satisfyingly. "They must have twisted time for shits and giggles, the little bastards." The sheep bleated and got to its feet, shaking itself out. "So, where to?"
"Russia's still got him, but we did break off the mind control." he explained. England made an annoyed click with his tongue.
"Great. So we're joining Ireland to bust him out. Bastard better appreciate this."
Notes:
- The Clockwork Orange is the nickname for the Glasgow Underground Railway, so named because it's pretty reliable, runs in a giant circle and nothing more, and is orange on the maps.
- The Seelie are one of the two types of fae in Scottish lore. You have the Seelie (good or at least neutral fae) and the Unseelie (bad or evil fae). There's a thin line between the two. The Seelie would be most likely to help or at least worry about Scotland.
- Sidhe, pronounced "shee" because Ireland likes to fuck with us, is the Irish word for Fae. In Irish lore, they're generally more mean than the Scottish Seelie. They'll do things from souring milk to kidnapping children. The term "Fae" itself is all encompassing and belongs more to old English, but also appears in Welsh.
- Oh yeah the thing with the winter court. Both English and Irish fae have winter and summer courts. They argue. A lot. Faerie wars. The winter court are a lot more vicious, but the summer court are powerful. They cancel each other out.
Part 66
Characters (in this chapter): England, Wales, various fae and a sheep.
Rating: 12
Warnings: Swearing, fae deciding that fuck grammar laws, they don't need them.
Summary: Uh, I need to be banned from the kink meme or monsters like this happen? Essentially, Scotland leaves the UK, which gives Northern Ireland an excuse to up and out as well, which leaves England and Wales all alone. Oh yeah, and this somehow leads to World War Three.
It was raining. That was to be expected; they were in Scotland. Wales was considerably less grumpy about the weather than England was, but this was also to be expected, since it rained more on Wales' land than it did in any other part of the British Isles. By this point complaining had become a redundant pastime.
The people of Glasgow were more than a little bemused when the two brothers walked through the suburbs to find Scotland's city flat. For starters, they still had one sheep that was insistently following Darren everywhere, though the Nation himself had gotten rather attached and named it "Gwen", to Arthur's dismay. Secondly, they were still in full military uniform, so this plus the sheep only added to the weird image. While there were grumbles that they were once again being occupied by another sodding military force, nothing more was said on the matter. And lastly, they were both trying to read a large, overcomplicated map of the city. And the sheep was chewing the corners.
Trust Scotland to have a city with a one way system more confusing than London. They should have just taken the Clockwork Orange.
"Jim's house can't be far from here, I recognise the road signs." Wales assured, wondering if England's eyebrows would one day get tangled in the middle and never stop frowning with such intensity.
"Every time you say that we go down the wrong back alley and nearly get mugged, and I am not being saved by the sheep again." grumbled England in reply, tilting his head to try and make sense of the cobweb of streets.
"Aw, come on, I thought Gwen was great, weren't you?" the elder brother cooed to the animal, scratching it under the chin with a goofy smile that only showed up whenever he was around this particular kind of fluffy animal.
"She shat on their merch and they got distracted so we legged it." Dryly, Arthur gave Darren a very flat stare. Darren whistled innocently, still petting the sheep with his hand.
Half an hour later, they determined that the house they'd passed twice without noticing it was James'. Or rather, the house Darren had noticed twice but Arthur had insisted was not James's house. It was only on the third circuit that the elder of the two noticed the twang of magic as he went past. Ah, forget-me spells. So that's how Scotland avoided bills.
"Well, looks like I'll have to go inside." Wales concluded, petting the sheep and soothing it so it lay down next to England's feet at the front door. The shorter Nation bristled.
"Why can't you stay with the bloody sheep!"
"Artie, you do remember the last time you tried to walk into Jim's house when he wasn't there, right?"
The smell of sizzling flesh and a lot of swearing came to mind.
England threw his hands up in the air. "Fine! You go in the sodding cursed place! I'll stay out here with the ruddy sheep!" with a loud huffing sound, he sat down on the steps of Scotland's front porch, folding his arms in a sulk. "I never wanted to go in anyway."
Sometimes it was all so obvious that Artie was the youngest of them. Wales mused with a suppressed grin.
Getting in to Scotland's house was very easy. The lock on his door was old and could be jimmied open with the right application of force, a fact Wales knew from having to drag the bastard home from the pub one too many times. Dealing with the liberal application of both booby traps and spells, however, was not.
Don't step on the third, dusty tile. If something moves in the mirrors that's not you, don't look at it. If something thuds upstairs, don't go up there for the next four minutes and twenty four seconds. A long list of things needed to survive Scotland's house. If you were England you wouldn't even get past the front door. Wales was not England, but he still had to be careful. The magic hummed on the walls almost audibly. All this for one little terraced house in the city?
"Jim?" Wales called. He knew he wasn't in, but it wouldn't hurt to try. "Alright then, Jim's fae? No, wait, Seelie?"
A little red light appeared at the top of the stairs. Followed by several more, some holding tiny cloths and feather dusters. Oh, so that's why the house was so clean when Scotland was allergic to housework.
"Have you seen Jim?"
A collective tinkle, a shaking heads.
"Any idea where he'd be right now so we can find him?"
The tinkling again, not unlike bells but in fact tiny voices. Cold cold cold he is with the cold one despite the broken spell he tries to save his lover, they replied as one, cacophony and harmony at the same time. Will you bring him back Cymru
"That's the plan." he nodded.
He made sure not to pull back when they abruptly flew way too close to his face for comfort. Do not allow him to be harmed any more Cymru, they hissed at him, the Sidhe of the Winter court send word of Eire's youngling his corruption will not be stood for much longer
"I know, she's gone to get him." Wales assured, though calming down the Seelie was harder than it sounded, the wild creatures that they were. "And I'm going to collect Jim, alright?"
With Albion
"Yes, with him too."
They seemed to find this answer satisfactory, as they scattered back to whatever they were doing before he had arrived. Wales breathed a sigh of relief, edging back out the door to find England sitting on the steps with a very annoyed expression.
"What?" Wales asked defensively.
"You were in there four hours." England grumbled, standing and stretching to make his back crack satisfyingly. "They must have twisted time for shits and giggles, the little bastards." The sheep bleated and got to its feet, shaking itself out. "So, where to?"
"Russia's still got him, but we did break off the mind control." he explained. England made an annoyed click with his tongue.
"Great. So we're joining Ireland to bust him out. Bastard better appreciate this."
Notes:
- The Clockwork Orange is the nickname for the Glasgow Underground Railway, so named because it's pretty reliable, runs in a giant circle and nothing more, and is orange on the maps.
- The Seelie are one of the two types of fae in Scottish lore. You have the Seelie (good or at least neutral fae) and the Unseelie (bad or evil fae). There's a thin line between the two. The Seelie would be most likely to help or at least worry about Scotland.
- Sidhe, pronounced "shee" because Ireland likes to fuck with us, is the Irish word for Fae. In Irish lore, they're generally more mean than the Scottish Seelie. They'll do things from souring milk to kidnapping children. The term "Fae" itself is all encompassing and belongs more to old English, but also appears in Welsh.
- Oh yeah the thing with the winter court. Both English and Irish fae have winter and summer courts. They argue. A lot. Faerie wars. The winter court are a lot more vicious, but the summer court are powerful. They cancel each other out.
Part 66
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 12:12 am (UTC)Why are you so amazing? You must tell me this secret of yours and share it with the world hjshsd
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 12:18 am (UTC)This is my cute little fluffy. And I shall keep her and brush her and call her Gwen. /SHOT
England and Wales GTFO of Scotland now y/y? To sway my fears of them being caught that have been present since they got there in the first place? D8
Also: lol house cursed against England.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 12:33 am (UTC)Oh England. You are such a child. This chapter was one of my favorites so far!
Wales assured, wondering if England's eyebrows would one day get tangled in the middle and never stop frowning with such intensity.
THIS LINE. BRB, DYING FROM LAUGHTER.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 12:35 am (UTC)England is not amused. By all of this. B|
Time for everyone to get the hell out of Russia!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 01:37 am (UTC)damn it Pidge, stop changing the mood so quicklyI mean nvm keep going. xDRussia is going to have it rough. Let's hope he likes it.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:05 am (UTC)Hey now, the sheep was the one following Wales around first, it just so happens that Wales really, really likes sheep.
Well considering the WDF are now occupying parts of Scotland... they don't have to worry much.
Scotland DOES NOT WANT.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:08 am (UTC)Despite being 2000 years old he's still got the capability to have a good sulk every now and again.
GLAD TO AMUSE YOU~! <3
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:09 am (UTC)When is England ever amused by this kind of thing?
AND NOW WE STORM THE GATES! \o/
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:10 am (UTC)Never. I plan to give you all mood whiplash.Russia bloody would, the sick bastard. <3
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:12 am (UTC)Pidge I'm still awake and it's 4:12 AM. D:
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:13 am (UTC)D: Why are you still awake silly lurker?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:16 am (UTC)I procrastinated. Still procrastinating. I need to do these edits and get at least 2 hours of sleep before work.
Also I blame the anonymous meme. A few people did a brilliant capslock fail sex scene from General Relativity. Then I messaged the author about it and it just went downhill from there. *rubs eyes*
How did you sleep?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:18 am (UTC)This is my Wales. I will love him and follow him and call him George. 8D Better?
Point.
NOBODY WANTS/WANTED XDD
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:21 am (UTC)I don't go on anon memes too often, mainly because the force of the wank is too strong and also because I know I'll be there forever and I have a semblance of a life I'm meant to live.]
Quite well, dreamt I was on a pirate ship and we boarded another pirate ship. Epicness ensued.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:22 am (UTC)Hehehe, aww.
So the sheep tops? /SHOTSHOTSHOTFOREVERBUT ENGLAND'S GOT HIS RAPEFACE ON 8D /shot again
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:27 am (UTC)PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I think ALL the sheep gang up on him!Of course, we can't let England's OH SO RARE rapeface go to waste now can we? /facepalm
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:31 am (UTC)SHEEP ORGY.just because England swore off sheep jokes for 100 years doesn't mean that I will.It's only rare nowadays. Oh the 1800s...
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:47 am (UTC)SKDKFJ
DAIAHFSIAUGIHUD
IT'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! omigod I wanna take them both home and wrap them up and SQUISH THEM THEY'RE SO ADORABLE AAAAAAA <33333333
I love you Mille.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:54 am (UTC)Though, if you find a way to get them out of it and into real life, please share that knowledge with the world(?) xDU
The feeling is mutual ♥.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 09:59 am (UTC)Neither will I, it is a tradition. ...says someone supposedly Welsh. /facepalm
Yes dear, sarcasm you can has it.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 10:21 am (UTC)Oh god if only I could do stuff like that. It'd be awesome.
<3
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 10:31 am (UTC)Wait. What were we talking about again?... I think I'll go to bed now <_<Uu
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 12:52 pm (UTC)asdfghjk Childish!Iggy... DO WANT. Even if no one else does XDDDD
AND FAERIES 83 And Scotland's booby-trapped house. I want a house like that :U
And seeing that line about the mirrors reminds me of that time in fourth grade when all the boys kept on daring each other to chant Bloody Mary. >.>
Silly boys, Bloody Mary is a woman, she wouldn't step in the boys' bathroom.Ohshit there's a mirror in this room. D: And the laptop is unavailable. Oh good God.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 01:12 pm (UTC)I just aw’d at Gwen =*-*= (fluffy and cozy and snugly ksajgkajsgjhcgiug)
Scotland’s house is fun! And I would like to have those Seelie helping me with the cleaning.
*reads the sizzling flesh part* Does he have a flamethrower or am I imagining things!? 8D
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 03:01 pm (UTC)I hereby nominate Gwen as the WDF mascot. D'awww.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 03:21 pm (UTC)I love the idea of Scotland's house being up to the ceiling in protective spells and curses and all sorts of nonsense, even though just the thought of it is rather scary orz. Wales must have had a lot of practice. D: I'd hate to think what would happen if France ever dropped in unannounced, though the only thing that comes to mind is that the fae would be attracted by his shiny, golden hair and be all "Preciiiiiioooouuuussssss" lmao. /shot
And England acting like the youngest is always a joy to see I want to pinch his cheeks aaaah. ;3;
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 05:18 pm (UTC)I just want to pet his hair, but he is a sulky brat when it comes down to it and he might bite me.
If I had a house like that I'd probably stumble into one of my own traps and die one day. orz. I bet Scotland's managed to kill himself on something before, but you know, he's hardier than I am. ;;
Lol oh Bloody Mary. She was one of England's queens that actually liked Scotland.
Don't look at it, DON'T LOOK AT IT.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 05:20 pm (UTC)She's a cutie, in my mind. Still a smelly sheep (because I swear they reek) but also badass.
It's an idea ganked from many other Scotland writers. I thought it seemed funny and added it in.
Or a fire spell. Idk it was meant to be left to the imagination of the reader anyway. <3
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 05:28 pm (UTC)The ceiling probably has spells on it too lol. He's probably had that house since it was built and has just added and added and added bits forever. Oh god France would be abducted so fast and poor Scotland would have to go save him and trade shiny things with them to have him back... you can't have a France-doll, Seelie!
He's such a brat I love hiiiim. ;3;
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 07:24 pm (UTC)so Wales must stink too...I'm just sayin'Fire spell maybe, but the mental image isn't as epic... *imagines Scotland with a flamethrower all like "Say hello to my little friend!"*
no subject
Date: 2010-07-27 01:26 pm (UTC)Or I'm just pessimistic.If he bites you, will you get infected by tsundereitis?
Well, being an English queen that liked Scotland didn't exactly work out that well for her, did it? >>
Also I just read that where you live, 18ºC is a hot summer. That's two degrees hotter than my room's temperature. With effing AC on. It's always about over 30 outside. I swear I melt every day just to set the AC to 16ºC and re-set during the night.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-27 01:34 pm (UTC)I'm English, and therefore immune.
Already yandere anyway kolkolkolWell she did rule for 5 years... and then died of a tumor. Mary Queen of Scots was the one that Bess chopped the head of off.
Geez are you another Aussie? The temperature's climbed to 24C now and I'm slowly dying.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-28 09:45 am (UTC)I fear you. I would run away if it wasn't for the fact that this fic is like a drugFFF I keep mixing them up. These monarchs need to get different names already. -just bitter because she sucks at names and dates OTL-
Ohohoho I'm worse. You could say I live smack dab on the freaking equator. I wish it could be 16ºC here or something outside. The coldest I've ever experienced is about -1ºC, and that's not even here.