hellzabeth

I don't think I've ever cried this hard before in my entire life.

First time I've ever cried while writing a post.

( what is even the point of trying any more )

so i guess i'm not going to oxford after all because the fucking cuntwipes changed their minds

I know I've not been posting much but fics recently. That's mostly because I'm more active on plurk now. My page isn't privated so you can stalk me if you like, it's mostly just rambling about things.

Family Ties is coming to an end and I'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends. It'll probably be done by chapter 100 or somewhere in that area. Monster Mash is kind of flourishing in my head, plot points popping up everywhere. For a halloween!horror!AU it's giving me a lot more enjoyment that I thought it would.

Work sucked today. I mean, it was busy as usual, but then Cam, Imi and Yaz came in. And instantly the awkward started. I'm not sure if they knew whether I was still working there or not. I really hope not, because if they just came in to make me feel awful... that would be kind of nothing like what I thought I knew of them. I thought we ended on okay terms. Yaz and I just kind of drifted apart. Imi went to Hull and it was difficult to keep in contact so we fell out of touch. Cam... we've been on a rocky road for a while before hand but after exams we just didn't really talk.

I tried to apologise.... I dunno what for, missing his birthday, ending it with a whimper and not a bang like he maybe would have wanted... but then I had customers and had to get back behind the till. When they came and bought their stuff, they didn't say a word, but as they walked out of the door, they burst into laughter.

And I burst into tears.

Maybe I'm just hormonal. Or something like that. But they were laughing all around the shop too and went dead silent after I talked to them, and then laughed after they left... it just felt like they were laughing at me, in my pathetic little job all alone without them.

But it's probably just my paranoia...

...

I hope.