hellzabeth: (Default)
I don't think I've ever cried this hard before in my entire life.

First time I've ever cried while writing a post.

what is even the point of trying any more )

so i guess i'm not going to oxford after all because the fucking cuntwipes changed their minds
hellzabeth: (♥Ship: engjapan)
Shit guys, I go to work and come back to find there's a lot of bad stuff going down.

Powerful 8.9 earthquake off the coast of Japan that's sending out tsunamis everywhere... Japan's declared a nuclear emergency because one of their reactors is damaged so badly by the earthquake that the technicians can't pump water to it. Several other facilities are on fire already and the tsunami is traveling as fast as a jet plane over the ocean, expected to hit Hawaii in about 4 hours, America mainland in 6, New Zealand in about 10-12.

I hope you guys are okay. I know South East Asia, Australia, New Zealand and the West Coasts of the Americas have tsunami warnings, so stay safe okay?



Mar. 5th, 2011 06:20 am
hellzabeth: (>Konata: brain capacity overload)

It's 6am and I haven't slept a wink. I have work at 10am-2pm, then jogging with Nena at 3:30pm, then another shift at 6pm-10pm.

Granted, I managed to sleep 14 hours- last night? Yesterday? From 12:30am until 4:30pm, either way. However, I don't think it's going to be enough to get me through the day, as busy as it is. You can bet your ass I'm going to come in at 10pm and fall straight in to bed, that's for sure.

And probably sleep for 14 hours again aaaaarrrghh.

hellzabeth: (>Konata: /dere)
So I was at work today, doin' my usual thing, when these two little girls come in. They had to be about 8-9 and they were soaking wet from the rain despite having their brollies. They spent about 10 minutes wandering around the shop, until I went up and asked what they were looking for. They asked where the cake and baking stuff was, so I took them there. A lot of it is on the top shelf, so I helped them get the brownie mixture down, and let them off the 10p short they were for it.

"Wow, it makes 16 brownies!" said one of the girls. "We'll never eat all that!"

"I'll take one off your hands for you." I laughed. I make this kind of joke all the time with customers who say they're buying too much.

The girls suddenly grin at me. "Okay! We'll bring you one!"

"Hey hey, I was joking, you don't have to do that." I said back, feeling a bit silly now. They were only little kids, I felt bad asking for one of their brownies. "I'm only here til 6 anyway, I'll probably be home when you're done."

"I'll bring you one anyway!" the girl insisted. "Bye!"

So I went back to work and forgot about it, assuming I'd never see hide nor hair of them again.

5:30pm, and the door opened. It was one of the girls, holding a little white bag. "I brought you one! It's nice and fresh."

I could have cried, it was so nice of her. After all the moody looks, the rude customers, the thieving teenagers, this one little girl made me feel appreciated and happy to work where I do. It's possibly the sweetest thing I've ever had a stranger do for me. ;u; I grinned like an idiot for the rest of the shift. And even though the edges were a little burned, it was the best brownie I've ever eaten.

This story may be too long to fit on GivesMeHope.com
hellzabeth: (Default)






Everyone should see this movie. And if Colin Firth doesn't get an Oscar for that performance I am going to cut a bitch.
hellzabeth: (>Konata: brain capacity overload)




hellzabeth: (>Konata: Cry)
You turned your back on me and walked away
without saying a single word…
In my wavering heart, I screamed like a child
“Don’t go... don’t leave... hey...”

I swear that is all that is needed of that song to make me tear up.

So I was in a terrible upset mood and From Y to Y helped me cry it out. Then Cande posted more of her MM spin off fic. (Which you should all be reading go do it now.) And then Oz bought my fem!England a paid account. So I feel better and love the both of you. <3333

I slept for 15 hours last night holy shit, went to bed at 10 and only woke up at 1pm the next day. What is morning. That might have been why I was so easily upset yesterday, and why I was so snappish with everyone. Sorry Plurk buddies! My humor gets quite mean when I'm tired.

Managed to make it through Great Gran's birthday party without being clipped around the ear for anything too snappish, though! I do love my gran. 92 and she may yet outlive us all. The woman lives on her own despite having a replacement hip, beating cancer three times and raising four kids, ten grandkids and 15 great grandkids. INDESTRUCTIBLE.

Half an hour to go until I catch the bus to Nena's to give her her present (FINALLY).

Hopefully today won't be as bad.

Edit: In other news (heh), Himaruya remembered Mr Newspaper! My god he's the cutest thing. Little freckles and that hat... I want to cosplay him at a con so I'll have an excuse to take pictures of everyone. |D;; /priorities
hellzabeth: (>Konata: ah well you see)
1: Copy and paste this meme.
2: Make the things that you're suffering from in italics.
3: ???
4: Profit!

You know you're in exam lockdown mode when:
- There's a stack of plates and pizza boxes somewhere in your room.
- Several cups of tea or coffee sit cold and unfinished because you finally got on a roll with understanding something.
- You haven't hoovered in weeks.
- Even the dog starts avoiding your room.

- You can't remember the sound of birdsong.
- You close your eyes you see flashcards with names on them.
- You can't remember the colour of your desk, there have been so many books and papers in the way for so long.

- There are still Christmas decorations in your room.
- You have consumed absolutely nothing of nutritional value in a week.
- You start dreaming in textbook quotes.
- All your lightbulbs have died save one, but rather than go out and get new ones, you just move the one lamp around the room as needed.
- You only venture out to get more sticky notes.
- You acquire a desperate need to get sticky notes if you run out.
- Every surface is covered with sticky notes.
- Even the toilet has a note on the lid.

- You only remember to wash when you scratch your head in confusion and your hand gets stuck.
- Time begins to lose all meaning for you, blending into one long mess with the exam at the end of it.
- You find eating to be a chore, especially if you have to make the food yourself, hence the pizza boxes.

- You catch yourself muttering things like "Audience, Purpose, Context, Tone" or "Introduction, Argument one, Argument two, Argument three, discussion throughout, summary".
- There is literally nothing on your calendar after the exam date, and you're not sure what happens afterwards.
- Your internet has never accessed wikipedia so often in such a short space of time.

hellzabeth: (>Konata: Cry)
Dear Oxford Brookes University,

Please tell me what the "conditions" of my acceptance are.

It's driving me crazy.

You said you would.


hellzabeth: (>Konata: ah well you see)
So at work today there was a really awful customer.

Which is weird, because most customers are quite polite if they're not drunk. But this lady, oh man. She's always caused trouble, been pushy and a bit frightening. Usually, I just serve her quietly and get on with it. But today, we were being observed by the area manager, which meant we had to do everything by the book.

See, she wanted to put money on her top up card. Which is totally fine, but then she asked to pay by credit card. Also fine, but we have to take the money off the credit card first, and then use the machine to get it on to the top up card, because if the credit card is for some reason declined, we can't undo the money we just put on the card. Basically, if we did it wrong, we could potentially lose the shop between £10 and £100. And with the area manager there, we couldn't exactly do it any differently, and so I told her.

She said to me "No, you put the money on my card first, and then I'll pay you, got it?"

I tried to explain to her that I couldn't, that the regulations said we had to do it the other way around.

"What? But I always get it in here the other way around. Are you trying to say I'd steal it?"

I quickly said no, I would never accuse her of that, but it was company rules and I couldn't change them. So she demanded to see the manager. I called out Phil, since he was duty manager, and he told her exactly the same thing.

She stormed off in a huff, and we thought that was the last we saw of her. But then, while Phil was serving another customer, she came back, and started yelling at him.

The lady Phil was half-way done serving was understandably miffed that this woman had 1: Jumped the whole queue and 2: made it harder for her to get her shopping done. She politely asked her to wait five minutes until she was done. The difficult customer told her in no uncertain terms where to shove it. Clearly shocked, the half-served customer asked her who on earth she thought she was, speaking to a stranger like that, and the argument escalated.

Thankfully, the politer woman's husband took her out of the shop before it could escalate beyond a slap fight, but the difficult customer stayed, and continued to yell at Phil. But Phil works as a doorman, and was complete with battle scars from the pub he'd worked the night before, and wasn't taking any shit from her, just calmly repeating and trying to make her understand why we couldn't serve her that way round.

She demanded to have the head office phone number. Which he gave her, along with a complaint form.

And so, she left for good, saying that this wasn't the last we'd see of her. As soon as she was out the door, Phil's response basically amounted to "lol bye bitch" and he went back to dragging stock.

I, however, was a little more shaken. I mean, I'd never seen two grown women (the difficult woman was in her early 30s, the polite one in her late 50s) actually go at it in such a way, complete with name calling and such. Besides which Ms Prissy is a regular customer (though Phil says she won't be back in here on his watch) so there's a chance I'll have to deal with her shit again.

Urgh, idk, growing up in an area of town where there is maybe like one crime every month... has probably made me soft to a lot of these kinds of incidents.

What really kind of narked me though, was that she flaunted that she had cash. Cash. If she'd paid by cash, I could have put the money on the card first, and then taken her cash, just in the order she liked it. But no. Nooooo. She wanted it exactly her way.

Blugh. Day = suck.

Me = playing on Sims.

PS: Went and saw Deathly Hallows, cried at Dobby, which made me feel a little better.
hellzabeth: (>Konata: Bored)
Like I needed to lose any more blood today.

So there I am, lying on my bed playing Sims 2, when my nose starts bleeding. Since this happens about as often as a runny nose for me, I go get some tissues, since it's a slow, small one.

Or so I thought.

Two minutes later, not even that, there's suddenly a RUSH of blood, like idefk what. I was lying down, there was absolutely no reason... and now there is blood literally everywhere, my room looks like a murder scene, never mind the state of the bathroom. The bed's covered in it in so much that it looks like someone was stabbed on it, and there's a nice drip-trail all across the white fucking carpet to the bathroom.

And because I was trying not to completely bleed out, I left it there long enough for it to soak in. So now everything is stained.

hellzabeth: (Vocaloid: Gumi 1)
Ahhh finally I found a Vocaloid with my voice range...

Though it seems that since she's new she doesn't have very many quality songs. Not sure I like the ones like 16 Bit Warz, but her cover of Romeo and Cinderella made me squee a little. The programmer got it spot on, perfect pitch.

But it seems like she's hard to handle; it's pretty hit or miss. Very. Very. Miss.

She seems to do a lot of duets with Gakupo. I have to admit his voice does work nicely with hers. orz but their signature colours clash horribly... orange and green with purple and black... Plus the Luka/Gakupo shippers hate them together... guys, they're computer programs, seriously. =___=;;; They don't even technically have personalities.

And as usual her version of "The Disappearence of... [Vocaloid name here]" did not fail to make me tear up a little. Noooo don't delete herrrrr ;A;

And even though it was Miku's involvement that got it noticed, no Gumi related post is complete without the glorious, the wonderful, the utterly mad Matryoshka.

Okay, coming clean; this post is basically me bookmarking GUMI songs (and of course advertising her pretty voice haha she doesn't get enough love). I have some sort of thing against cluttering up my bar with loads of bookmarks, because it means the ones I use regularly get pushed off screen or buried and I am just that level of lazy in that I can't be bothered to find them.

... sometimes I wish I wasn't so shy about entering new fandoms. I mean, I lurked Hetalia for 2 years before writing fic or even commenting. I want to find more people who I can spaz about pretty songs with...

... /sigh

I guess in the end my social anxiety issues are always going to get in the way, even on the internet.
hellzabeth: (>Konata: Gloom)



I should have known it was too good to be true.

I bet the Japanese fandom is having a right laugh at us now. Haha, guys, haha.

/slopes off to work, depressed


Nov. 7th, 2010 06:43 pm
hellzabeth: (Tulio: fml.)
I know I've not been posting much but fics recently. That's mostly because I'm more active on plurk now. My page isn't privated so you can stalk me if you like, it's mostly just rambling about things.

Family Ties is coming to an end and I'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends. It'll probably be done by chapter 100 or somewhere in that area. Monster Mash is kind of flourishing in my head, plot points popping up everywhere. For a halloween!horror!AU it's giving me a lot more enjoyment that I thought it would.

Work sucked today. I mean, it was busy as usual, but then Cam, Imi and Yaz came in. And instantly the awkward started. I'm not sure if they knew whether I was still working there or not. I really hope not, because if they just came in to make me feel awful... that would be kind of nothing like what I thought I knew of them. I thought we ended on okay terms. Yaz and I just kind of drifted apart. Imi went to Hull and it was difficult to keep in contact so we fell out of touch. Cam... we've been on a rocky road for a while before hand but after exams we just didn't really talk.

I tried to apologise.... I dunno what for, missing his birthday, ending it with a whimper and not a bang like he maybe would have wanted... but then I had customers and had to get back behind the till. When they came and bought their stuff, they didn't say a word, but as they walked out of the door, they burst into laughter.

And I burst into tears.

Maybe I'm just hormonal. Or something like that. But they were laughing all around the shop too and went dead silent after I talked to them, and then laughed after they left... it just felt like they were laughing at me, in my pathetic little job all alone without them.

But it's probably just my paranoia...


I hope.
hellzabeth: (>Konata: sigh.)
Ah, well.

Probably should have seen that coming eventually.

The anon has a point. Kudos to them.

hellzabeth: (>Konata: Gloom)
So it was 10 minutes from the end of work, when this girl knocks on my till to get my attention from where I'd been putting away the ciggies.

"Hi, can I help?" I ask brightly.

"I'll have a 12 please."

Our lotto cards are numbered from 1-12, and the 12's the cheapest at £1. I nab it out of the dispenser and scan it.

The girl's looking about nervously, but I give her a scrutinising look and decide she seems the type who'd snap at me if I asked what's wrong. "That's a pound please."

So she gives me a pound.

Walks out the shop.

And comes back with a lady from shopwatch.

"You have just sold a restricted item to an under 16 year old."

I broke down in tears.

Fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life.
hellzabeth: (=A=)
Why is it 18 degrees AT NIGHT?!

I can hear mozzies buzzing around my room at a high pitched whine and I cannot sleep because I KNOW they will bite me. I'm oh so delicious like that.

Feck it, I'll just start compiling that archive "find Pidge's stuff more easily" thing that all the cool people have.
hellzabeth: (cry)
There are lots of ways I put my procrastination to use. I write fics, draw art, watch shows I usually wouldn't. Sometimes I even go back and watch things again just incase I'd forgotten them.



Did I go back and watch Dr Who: End of Time?

There are only five words that it took to make me break: "I don't want to go."

I must have walked out of the room the first time I watched it, or been distracted by something shiney, because I swear to god I never sobbed that hard the first time.

Fuck it, it's three months too late for a dedication, but... Ten, you will always be my Doctor.

Though the new bloke did kind of soften the blow when he went "I'm still not ginger!" all irritably. Still. Sob.

Shut up and get back to your coursework Pidge that stuff has to be handed in tomorrow.


hellzabeth: (Default)

April 2011

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